My Cat Doesn’t Like Me: 5 Things I Tried To Win Her Back


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I hate to break it to you but cats are quite complex. There are days they are extremely excited to play with you. There are days, they are simply bored and want no part of you. There are days they don’t give a damn. And there are days they hate you. The behavioral changes you see in them aren’t exactly your fault, part of them, maybe. Unless you are not treating them nicely, you know who to blame. You have your excuses for sure but we are not here to talk about them.

I have a 5-year-old Siamese cat, and I have no doubt in my mind she’s the cutest furry friend I ever had. She likes sitting next to me leaning her back against my legs or napping on my lap when I am watching TV.She also enjoys scratching my jeans with her manicured claws. It’s a little tickling and painful but it doesn’t matter since

I know she loves me so much. But a year ago, we kind of had the opposite relationship, the ‘mind your own business’ thingy. She was aloof, a very anti-social of her kind and a little overly-aggressive when tried to being pet.

Two years ago, I left my pet with my sister since I had to move overseas for my work. When I came back home and took her back to my sister, I noticed some unwanted changes. That started my frustrations. Thinking back, I can say I was impatient and somewhat forceful towards her. I have done mistakes handling her, that’s for sure. Anyway, I am here to share the things I did to win her back.

Consulting the Vet

It’s not that we are so naive and have no idea what to do with our pets but it’s just a good habit to regularly visit our local vet for grooming, vaccination and consultations on some pet issues. I was told that my cat was having a difficult time transitioning as I was away for a long time.

I thought that was common sense but the vet added my cat was in a completely different environment and that means she needed time to adjust. Other factors would be a possible mistreatment from my sister but of course she denied doing it. The vet was very helpful in assisting me and I felt I had someone to rely on.

Gentle Approach

One of my biggest mistakes was my eagerness to play and get close to her. I was too excited that I didn’t realize my action brought fear to my cat. I would call her “kitty titty kitty” with overly-excited loud voice and run near her as if we were kids playing.

She didn’t like it at all. She would run away and sometimes make a hissing sound. That scared me a bit… a lot actually.  I am so fond of dogs and so I feel like my approach would be no different with cats but I guess I was so stupid to understand they’re different.


It’s common sense we give food or some treats and water to our cat regularly but since my cat was a little fearful, I had to put the food near her hiding place. When it was meal time I would call her name playfully as a signal. She would somehow come out from her den but would show hesitance to get her food.

So, I would slowly set the bowl near her to show I had no intention hurting her. I wouldn’t leave yet but stay for a while and try to baby talk her. For several day I had to this these things.

Apparently, she started getting more and more comfortable with me. I knew, my methods were working, so I had to continue keep doing it.

Playtime with your cat

While she seemed comfortable with me after like weeks of effort, I felt I still had to do something and playing with her was just a good way to bond but there were of course some restrictions and precautions. I had to maintain gentleness, and had to understand with my gut feeling whether she’s up to playing or not.

I really had to put in a lot of effort so I bought some toy cats like the catcher wand, catnip and cat cube. I often used the catcher wand to get her attention. Actually, it was very effective.

Comfortable environment

It wasn’t that my cat wasn’t familiar with my house, but being away for a year obviously did make some changes in her behavior. But adding more cat stuff in her place plus of course my relationship with her certainly did give her better comfort. One other big change I have made is making sure her place is regularly cleaned. The litter box for example is cleaned at least twice a week.

It took time to somewhat get her by my side again but it’s worth the effort. Every day I had to slowly approach her, call her dearly by her name, feed her regularly and find time to play with her. Patience, patience and patience are very effective methods. I had my reflections. I thought about the times when she was a cute little kitten and what I did to tame her.


If you truly love your cat, understanding her behavior is one thing you can do. Always remember that your actions make a difference.

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